Resolutions

Goals and expectations


Once again I made the usual commitment to myself in January to make a one last ditch effort to drop some tonnage from my person. I started out strong like always and did a good job of it. I started walking around the office at night while I was working. I also made great strides to get up and unearth the $600 close rack known as my treadmill. The goal this January one was to drop a buck fifty and play a season of softball. Being as how I am forty three as of March two the clock isn’t favoring this endeavor, if I am going to play ball it is now or never.



Excuses and pains



One of the biggest obstacles for one of my stature is motivation. Sure it sounds great when I think about getting off the couch and getting into the hamster wheel of death and running five MPH going absolutely no where. Getting off the couch when there is spring training baseball on to watch not easy my friend! That said I was up and on the treadmill and then it happened. Lower back pain and shoulder discomfort. That’s right folks my doc tells me I have to get my can up and exercise. When I have an injury from that he says take it easy. I can’t believe I paying this guy. Two blown shoe soles latter I am ready to go.


Ball Practice


We drafted this years incarnation of the Lady Yankees Pee Wee Girls team at GVLL. We have been practicing a week. One nice thing about practices is you learn all kinds of stuff about your own athleticism. Ever single over throw had me leaping an amazing 2, 3, inches off the ground easy. It takes a lot of thrust to raise this body off the ground. The bigger the gut the more gravity you have to defy. Either my players are going to have to learn to throw really soon or I’m gonna bring a latter to practice to reach those throws. I also discovered I can no longer go to my right with the glove. I see the ball traveling that way and I feel the signal going down to all the former muscle groups responsible for that movement but the body protest and flat refuses to go that way. My fall season is looking very doubtful.

                                                                                                                        Even this old fart can go to the right......


This season we drafted a bunch of first year players. We don’t mind that so much. They come complete with no idea how to do the things we want them to do and they have no bad habits for us to battle with. Their like a clean chalk board. We just have to find the right way to communicate what we want them to learn and hope when they throw a ball to us we are looking when they do.



I a lot of ways they are a little bit like me, we are all trying to get into shape for a season we hope will be good. I just hope my knees hold out.



Tread Mills and other things inspired of Satan



Next week I am on vacation so hitting the hamster wheel is going to be a bit easier to do. Down side Baseball starts on Thursday March 31. Yankees season opener. So no vile treadmill, I want a hot dog, some nachos, and the remote control! Opening day is a day to be celebrated like Christmas, only better. Hey, Christmas is only good for the little dudes getting toys, opening day is for everyone. Unfortunately I will be watching the Yanks from the treadmill. Vile, nasty stinking treadmill. With any luck I will not blown out my new shoes or any cartilage that may be just waiting for the right opportunity to launch me through the wall like an episode of Jackass. Perhaps I’ll set up the video camera for the million dollar shot.
April 2



We play our first game with the Red Sox. Who and why would anyone want to name their team after such and awful, awful team. I just don’t get it. Look at history at all the great Yankee players and you have a large list that comes to mind. You do that with the Red Sox you get Ted Williams. Ted “I live in Joe DiMaggio’s shadow” Williams. Sad I tell ya just plain sad. Well wish us luck as we go out there and win this one.

I volunteered to make some puppets recently for our Sunday school department for a puppet show they were planning to have during a Wednesday night service.  I opened my mouth and told the director of the department that I had read somewhere on how to make Muppets.  As a result of my big mouth and an over active imagination I embarked on a mission that would take several weeks and cost me a couple layers of skin to my finger tips from a close encounter with the hot glue gun.

I started out with those green Styrofoam balls like old ladies use to make flower arrangements.  I bought the next to the largest size they make.  The characters had to be two dogs and a cat.  But in the story line the cat had to transform from a mean nasty looking little cat to a nice loveable kitty. 

I used smaller Styrofoam balls for eyes and glued plastic craft eyes onto them.

The heads were carved and shaped with an exacto knife and sand paper.  I traced my hand to the bottom of the head and cut away a notch for my hand to operate the mouth.  I used card board to make the inside of the mouth, covered with felt and glued into place.

Felt was glued unto the head and the eyes were traced onto the felt and cut out od the felt.  The Styrofoam was craved out for the eyes to rest into.

The hand and the body are sew together and stuffed like a pillow.  The neck is made from scrap felt being sandwiched between the  the cardboard mouth and another piece of card board.